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Love Vs. Infatuation Part Two
Infatuation is when you only see the good traits in the person, and are
unable or unwilling to see the flaws (all people have some) Infatuation creates false images. If the person you are infatuated with is good looking, you assume and apply other qualities to that person that they may not even have. If you believe the person has
more status than you, you may try to become more of the things that they feel
are important rather than staying comfortable with you are.
For example, if she is
attracted to athletic looking guys, you may spend a lot of time working out to
please her when you’d rather be involved in drama club or the debate team. If he is attracted to girls that are interested in politics and causes, you may commit time to an issue that really isn’t your passion instead of devoting time to things that matter to you. You
pretend to have the same values, but you deceive each other by not being true
to yourself and your own natural interests.
You spend a lot of time trying to figure out what is attractive and
important to the person you like and then spend a lot of time getting involved
in those activities that really don’t even interest you.
You give up the things that are important to you, things you are good
at and things you could really make a difference in. You’re always trying to figure out what they want, trying to be their number one love.
No one should give up who they are in order to keep a relationship going.
Love doesn’t do that. Love encourages and empowers the other person
to pursue the interests they already have.
Even to the point of encouraging the person to go to the college that is
best for them even if its hundreds of miles away. Infatuation begs, demands,
and instills guilt to get the person to not go away to that college. If there are a lot of highs and lows in your relationship, if you depend on the other person’s mood to shape your value for the day, if you start thinking in the back of your mind–I used to like myself
and now I’m questioning myself according to the other person’s opinion of
me– step back, spend some time with a trusted friend or family member, and reclaim who you really are.
Love will be there for the
long haul and can survive time away from each other, it can survive going away
to different colleges, it can pace the relationship to invest time in
developing who you are so as you grow together, and decide to spend a lifetime
together, you will be a more mature, better prepared, stronger person that will
be able to have a successful one time, life time marriage.
One Time Life Time Legacy ©
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